An open letter to a friend (or two.)

Sorry things are so lame right now. Maybe this is what we’re supposed to be doing at this point in our lives; miring through the field of manure to get to the greener pastures on the other side. I’ve got to hope there’s something better out beyond the horizon. To think that this is it, “What if this is as good as it gets?” is depressing beyond belief. Well, I suppose it’s believable, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is depressing. Speaking of, I forgot my pill this morning. Dammit. I had an appointment with my psychologist weds. He was pushing for a counselor again. I don’t disagree with him at all; I just don’t have the time. Or, at least, I don’t feel like sacrificing something to make the time (probably more accurate…)

OK, back to the point…I know you’re feeling stagnant, and I can absolutely empathize. I wish I could say that this is just a purgatory and eventually, you’ll move on to happiness, but it’s impossible for me to know that. If there is anything I can pass on from my experiences, it is that each step forward is into a stronger, colder wind. Each door that opens leads to a room that is harder to navigate, lit by a light that is ever dimmer. The future doesn’t just hold uncertainty, the future is uncertainty. The ONLY way to deal with this truth is to remain in the present-the absolutely toughest thing for any westerner to do. Not one iota of American life is based in the now; everything is based in what is done, or what will be done; the ONLY thing we control is what is being done-how we are experiencing this moment right now. This is more a ‘do as I say, not as I do,’ thing, my eyes are perpetually on the prize, despite my awareness that in looking ahead, I fail to see the obstacles directly in front of my. You’d think by now, I’d have learned, but I have not. Someday, maybe.

Take a deep breath. Take a sip of tea. Roll it around, taste the tea leafs, the spearmint, the chamomile, the black pepper. Breath in (ooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnneeee) breath out (twoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.) The past is not so great. The future is no prize. Right now is exactly what you make it…