(Narration) Hey, I’m Erik (Camera shows Erik arriving at FTN. He looks left, then right, checks the rearview mirror, and then starts beating his head against the steering wheel.) As you can see, I really like my job!
(Narration) My position is really intense. In order to perform at your peak, you’ve got to know a lot of information. (Camera shows Erik copying and pasting from GTD, then Customs website.)
(Erik looks seriously at the camera.) There’s always something new coming in, you’ve got to remain alert at all times. (Camera shows Erik nodding off at desk.)
(Narration) The constant influx of new work keeps me very focused. (Camera shows Erik turning to Jonathan) “I think we should reshoot star wars, with Delonte West as Lando.” (Erik turns back to computer, turns back to Jonathan.) “Who would win in a fight, young Obi Wan Kenobi or Delonte West?” (Turns back to computer, then back to Jonathan.) “What if we made ravioli filled with bleu cheese and then served it with a buffalo wing sauce? That would be delicious!”
(Narration) I take my letter writing very seriously. Keeping the customer informed is my number one goal. (Camera shows Erik’s monitor, he is writing an ‘I am FedEx’ commercial, then a Teresa haiku, then a rap song, then a random rant about Gail.)
(Narration) Customer service is my priority. I will make every FedEx experience outstanding! (Erik is on phone with customer, speaking very sarcastically.) “Oh, no, you don’t have to send me anything. I can submit the information as you’ve presented it. When Customs denies the claim, we’ll just send you the bill again. No big deal.”
(Narration) My name is Erik and I am FedEx. (Camera shows Erik staring blankly into space. Fade to FTN logo.)
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